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Saturday, October 25, 2014

Falling Away

Hello, friends. 

I sort of broke the promise I made in my last post to be back soon, didn't I? I have recently been updating my Facebook page,
but I have struggled to put together a post here with everything that has been happening. 

A lot has happened in the last two months. At the end of August we made a trip to California to visit my parents. My dad had been battling cancer for several years, and things were not looking good.

{My mom and dad have been together for 60 years! If you'd like to hear a little bit of their love story, you can read about it over here.}

While there, my sister and I took dad to the appointment where he got the report that we dreaded- his cancer would end his life here on earth. The following days were a mix of grief and disbelief, but we had a lot of good time spent with dad! We relived childhood memories, had a time of family worship and he told us things about his life that he wanted us to remember as "his story".  

We had anticipated that he would have several months. Mid-September the kids and I returned to Colorado to begin making preparations to move to California to be with my parents, and spend my dad's last months together. 

But on Thursday, October 2nd, my dad awoke disoriented and very sick and was taken by ambulance to the hospital where they discovered he had bleeding in his brain. This was completely unexpected. There was nothing to be done. In his weakened condition from the cancer treatment, he couldn't have survived surgery.
They sent him home with hospice care that night. The next day we decided (4 kids and I) that we would drive back to California on Saturday. We hit the road Saturday morning, but about 3 hours into a 12 hour drive, we got the call that he had taken his last breath. 

He was surrounded by my mom, brother, sister and most of his 13 grand kids as they showered him with love in his last hours.  

My dad was really more like a father figure to my two oldest daughters, even walking Tess down the aisle at her wedding. 

The following is a video slideshow that my nieces created in honor of their grandpa. I know many won't take the time to watch. It's full of personal photos...memories of someone you never even met. But as I watched this video at his memorial service, I was struck with this thought- when it's all said and done, what would I want to be in my 5 minute slideshow?

Something to think about.

In loving memory of my dad, Jim Tomer. We miss you like crazy! 

We're making the big move from Colorado to California in one week. I'm hoping to get back in the swing of posting regularly, but in the meantime, I'd love it if you would keep in touch over on Facebook!



  1. Oh dear Jeanette, may you rest in the knowledge that so many care and feel deeply for you and your loss, me being just one of them. Family matters. What a beautiful tribute to such a wonderful anchor of your family. RIP, James R. Tomer.
    Hugs from the hills of WV,

  2. Oh Jeanette I so loved this tribute to your dad. What a beautiful collection of memories through pictures. This is such a gift to have to remember your wonderful dad. I watched it twice I loved it so much. What a beautiful life and family your dad was blessed to have. You look just like your dad. So sorry for this great loss. Hugs.

  3. Oh, God bless you, my friend. It is never easy to lose a parent-especially one that is so beloved as your Dad. I lost my Dad many years ago and not a day goes by that I don't think about him. Good luck on your move. I hope it is a good move for you and your family- xo Diana

  4. I'm deeply sorry to hear of your loss of your father. I pray you are comforted by the many memories of him. Praying for your move to go well and look forward to hearing more about it in the future. Hugs Pat

  5. Prayers for comfort for all of your dear family,,,the brief look you gave us into his life was beautiful...and it appears full of joy...God bless...

  6. he was your sunshine, your nieces did a wonderful job portraying the life of a man who had abounding love for his family and life he looked like he had a awesome sense of humor and i am sure he will be sorely missed,i hope your move will be fruitful for you and yours xx

  7. I am so sorry you were not there for your father's last day.

    I am glad that you are moving to California to be with your mother. Life will be topsy turvy for all of you for awhile, but I know the move will be good for you.

    Hugs and prayers.

  8. I am so sorry for your loss. I did watch the video and it touched my heart.

  9. This is such a beautiful tribute to your dad and it is so obvious that he loved and was very loved. Brought tears to my eyes watching this and made me remember all of the sorrow involved in losing a parent that you loved. What wonderful memories you will have though, and how wonderful that you are going to be moving. I am assuming that you will be there to help your mother. How much she will appreciate your presence. blessings and will remember you in my prayers.

  10. So sorry. It's sad to loose your father.

  11. I think your Dad loved well and much and was loved well and much. I am so sorry. God bless you and your family.

  12. Oh Jeanette, I was so awaiting your return, yet to find this much beauty in such a sad time is more then one expects. Your daughters memories are captured in the most beautiful way one could ever hold dear, and that's a walk down the aisle of her new life. Your daughter is so beautiful. As for your lose, what we have to look forward to is seeing again our loved ones. I lost my father to illness when I was 14, I am only left with an ailing mother.
    My sister a few years back put together a picture video of my our grandfathers life clips of where it started and the ending beautifully placed to music...Buy the Judd's "Grandpa Tell me about the good old days"
    And truly the stories of our parents, grand parents hold such strength in every word.

    I am sending you love my sweet friend, comfort knowing he is sheltered in the wings of our Lord and his memories will comfort you.

    I have a good shoulder Jeannette, I'm here.


  13. I am so very sorry for your loss. I didn't know you were moving until I read this. Is being closer to family what prompted you to make this move? I'll look back and see if I missed something. My friend Judy is struggling too as her husband is on Hospice now.

  14. So sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your slide show with us. I may not know your family but I can see the joy and love you all shares.

  15. Jeanette, you are such a strong woman. I pray God's favor, peace and strenght as you grieve and prepare for the move

  16. Such a precious legacy of a gracious man . . .
    what a sweet blessing. {{{gentle hug}}}

  17. What a lovely tribute! You can tell he was a good man...full of love. On a side note, your parents are so pretty, and you are a lovely combination of both of them. I wish you all the best in your move, and look forward to seeing your new nest/creation.

  18. What a touching story and so sorry for your loss. Lovely photos too..thanks for sharing!

  19. Jeanette, I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I lost my own dad over 30 years ago and I still miss him every single day. The photo tribute was lovely and emotional. What a wonderful family it depicts. I send positive thoughts your and wish you luck on your move.

  20. My heart aches for your loss. Your post made me cry; it is because I lost my Dad on May 3rd this year. There are so many things that remind me of my Dad. Know my heart is with you.

  21. How was the move? I know we'd all love to hear an update.

  22. I'm so so sorry to hear about your Dads death. I just stopped by to see how you were doing and this news made me so sad. He sounds like a wonderful man and so loved and admired by his family and friends. im sending you my prayers for peace and healing, keep us posted on your move.

  23. What you're saying is completely true. I know that everybody must say the same thing, but I just think that you put it in a way that everyone can understand. I'm sure you'll reach so many people with what you've got to say.
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